Forest School Singapore, Camp Civet, 23 – 25 December 2020.
I learnt to communicate with the forest though I do not know exactly how and what yet.
I had to find ways of entrusting the kids, our children, in the embrace / womb of our forest.
Going through more than one big change in my life was draining me on different levels – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. But still I decide and want to show up for the camps I have taken on, because I want to learn to go on with life with all her ups and downs. My commitment to forest school is skin-deep.
I learn, I learnt, that forest school coach is not just me.
The forest is also taking care of the children, my fellow coaches too.
No pressure to shoulder it all upon myself unnecessary burden
We are all taking care of one another in fact
Coach Adrian (one of our kids) helped looked after the young ones when I had no more energy to walk to where the young ones were walking out of my sight
When I feel scared, I learn to communicate with our forest
“please hold me here on earth when I cannot hold myself anymore,
please let me stay here.
please help me watch out for the young ones way ahead of me, because I cannot catch up anymore.
I trust you, I trust you,
I trust you to be my eyes
I trust that we are doing it all together
please let Adrian be safe on the big tall tree as he is climbing (I learn from coach ET)
please let our children be safe as they play hide and seek and run all over the place because I cannot run around like them for now
please help me trust that I can give our kids the space they need to play freely and be who they are
as I lay down on the ground, energies discharging from my entire body, flowing through crazy streams, vibrating streams, out of my extremities back into you,
please give me the energy and life force again
I still want to live, and love, and give, and receive
It is not time yet
please hold me here down on the ground
please let us live, please let us live
moving at my own pace and rhythm
you help me manage my energies
gently and subtly
thank you for holding me here
I bury my heart within your soil
and I walk my bare feet on you
planting my trust in new ways I never saw coming
I still do not really know what it is,
but I am finding how our communication can evolve…
Our bodies, an ecosystem
breathing in and out
I surrender, give up on what I no longer need,
fertilize what I want and need and love
and turn myself away from toxic energies and ways
I open myself to you
I open myself to brand new beginnings
I open myself to blood pain and death
in order to rebirth again
I die, goodbye
I am born again, hello
The colours of the world are not the same anymore
I see different colours
colours I have never seen before
I say, hello colour
colours say butterfly and goodbye
the colours let me share space with them and so I share,
I share space with more people,
people who matter and care to grow,
caring to grow colours of a community
colours of languages of love
Holding space for our children and allowing them to enjoy their birthright of being who they are,
I am also learning to give myself the space I need
and truly allow myself to be as I am
Acknowledging (not burying) my feelings and thoughts is a process
How lucky am I to deepen this process with mother nature, through forest school.
I might be lost, but the forest is guiding me somewhere…
I might be lost, but the forest is guiding me somewhere…
Written by: Coach Cheryl
(Joined July 2020)
